Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.


My son did NOT receive a virtual reality helmet for a recent birthday present, which did NOT feature ninja dudes coming at you from all sides, or have hand and feet attachments so you had to kick and punch them away.

And I did NOT want to try this out, so I DIDN'T stand in the middle of the living room, looking like an overgrown fool, kicking and slashing at thin air.

And in the midst of it all, my 1 year old baby did NOT come toddling into the living room. And since I WASN'T wearing the helmet and WASN'T unaware of her presence, naturally I could NOT have kicked her square in the stomach while fighting off these digital attackers.

I did NOT immediately throw that helmet set in the trash, either.




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911. What Is Your Emergency?

So I read a post by KathyB over at The World According to Me about an embarrassing incident involving a toddler and 4 police officers, and I'm thinking, "Why doesn't stuff like that ever happen to me?"

Then out of the vaults of my swiss-cheesy memory I pulled out this little gem. Please note that I am not holding up my incident for comparison with Kathy's. Hers wins, hands down, for rueful head-shaking and overall forehead-smackiness.

There was the time when I was trying to call the kids' doctor on speed dial, but I hit the 911 button by mistake. I hung up right away, but the call had already connected. When the dispatcher called me back, I, naturally, was already on the phone with the doctor. The 911 center's protocol is to dispatch a unit if no one answers. I, naturally, was oblivious of this pertinent piece of information.


Child #1 was at school, I had just nursed Baby #3 to sleep but he wasn't ready to "let go" when I heard the doorbell ring. I was still in my nightgown with sleeping Child #2 on one side and a boob hanging out on the other. Naturally, I ignored the bell. What would you do? Then I heard the door open, and two officers entered the house called "Ma'am? Ma'am?"

So there I am on the baby monitor trying to tell them to be quiet. Me, in hushed tones: "I'm O-kay. I'm O-kay. Please don't yell up the steps. The kids are sleeping." (Do you know how long it took to nurse that kid to sleep???) And they're calling back, "I'm sorry, Ma'am, but we need to SEE you."

The long and short was that those two kind civil servants got a good look at unkempt motherhood at its grittiest. I am also fairly sure that the downstairs was something of a disaster (I wasn't much of a housekeeper in those days). And naturally, in the process, both sleeping kids woke up and I had to start all over again.

Actually, I was very proud of them. The police, that is. They adhered to procedure to make sure it wasn't a hostage situation. But it was also slightly mortifying. But hey - I'm Catholic. Isn't mortification good for the soul?

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Prayer for Strengthening the Family

I have this little prayer book that I lose several times a day, so I'm posting my current favorite prayer so I can still refer to it until I commit it to memory.


Lord Jesus, my family needs Your help today. We are searching for tranquility and peace and an end to the discord that keeps us apart. Give us strength and compassion to understand each other, wisdom and love to help one another, and the trust and patience we need to live peacefully together. I pray that our family might become a holy family - a family that works, prays and plays together, a family that embraces peace and love, a family whose members are dedicated in love to each other and to God. Amen

Fun With Tortillas

I am so proud of myself!!

I really wanted scrambled eggs with cheese wrapped in a tortilla this morning, but:

a) I'm out of tortillas
b) it's 9 degrees Fahrenheit
c) I don't feel like going out at any temperature

So I reasoned that if third-world women with no electricity have been making tortillas by hand for centuries, why couldn't I? Besides, I've been so trapped in my commercial, industrialized mindset that I used to think if I'm out of something, then too bad, I can't have any. But since I'm preparing for when the economy crashes I have to start getting used to being more self-sufficient (I'm only half-kidding). I've been planning out a garden for the spring, we're going to keep chickens for eggs and meat, and I'm starting a stockpile of items without which I don't think I can live. (including excedrin, vitamins and sanitary napkins - I ain't using no cattail fluff)

Today before anyone else was up (and I'm talking 10 a.m. - we're not early risers) I found the recipe below {link} and had a go at it. The recipe says to use an untreated wood surface to roll them, but I had no trouble on my old vintage cheapo laminate countertop.

It wasn't too difficult (although the dough really resists stretching) and the results really were tender and delicious! Clare (7) asked for a scrambled egg tortilla and I gave her one, not telling her the tortilla was home-made. When I revealed my secret, she threw her arms around my neck with delight, exclaiming how much she liked it! I knew she would - Clare has a real homespun streak in her - she secretly wishes she had been born Mary Ingalls instead.

The photo below shows the first botched tortilla at left (I didn't roll it thin enough but it was still delicious), my best roll on the right, and the finished product in the foreground. I'm cackling with delight here! I mean, seriously, it is so gratifying to create something that heretofore I relied on 'professionals' to make for me!

















Chewy Flour Tortillas

These tortillas have real body and taste; they are perfect for gorditas, fajitas and eating out of hand.

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1-1/2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 2 teaspoons vegetable oil
• 3/4 cup lukewarm milk (2% is fine)

Stir together the flour and baking powder in a large mixing bowl. Add the salt and vegetable oil to the lukewarm milk and whisk briefly to incorporate. Gradually add the milk to the flour, and work the mixture into a dough. It will be sticky.

Turn the dough out onto a surface dusted with flour and knead vigorously for about 2 minutes (fold and press, fold and press). The kneading will take care of the stickiness. Return the dough to the bowl, cover it with a damp cloth, and let it rest for 15 minutes. (This dough will not rise, but it needs a rest.)

Divide your dough into 8 balls of equal size, cover them, and let them rest again for about 20 minutes. Avoid letting them touch, if you don't want them to stick together.

Dust your work surface with flour. Working one at a time, remove each piece of dough and pat it into a 5-inch circle. With a rolling pin, roll out the tortilla, working from the center out, until you have a 7- or 8-inch tortilla a little less than 1/4 inch thick. Transfer the tortilla to a hot, dry skillet or griddle. It will begin to blister. Let it cook for 30 seconds, turn it, and let the other side cook for 30 seconds. Remove the tortilla, place it in a napkin-lined basket and cover with aluminum foil. Repeat for the remaining tortillas.

Although flour tortillas, like corn tortillas, are best if eaten right after they are made, these tortillas will freeze well. Wrap them tightly in plastic, and they will keep, frozen, for several weeks. To serve tortillas that have been frozen, let them thaw and come to room temperature, then wrap them in aluminum foil and heat them in a warm oven. Microwaving tends to toughen them.

Here are some tips as to technique:

• Do not use bread flour. You want flour with a low gluten content.
• You don't want to over-flour your work surface, but you don't want your rolled-out tortilla sticking to it either. I found that the dough adhered less to an unvarnished wood surface (like an old cutting board) than any other surface I tried.
• A flat dough scraper, known in baking parlance as a "bench knife", is very efficient in removing the rolled-out tortilla from the work surface.
• When rolling out tortillas, dust your rolling pin with flour, and don't be afraid to apply pressure. Flour tortilla dough is pretty sturdy; but not to the point of rerolling. You don't want tough tortillas.
• The Border Cookbook recommends the use of a tortilla roller (similar to a short piece of broomstick), rather than a rolling pin.
• Rolling out tortillas in perfect circles is harder than it sounds; the dough wants to draw up. So if perfectly circular shapes are important, you can trim away the excess with a sharp knife.
• Once again, I believe a cast-iron skillet or griddle is practically indispensable for making any kind of tortilla. A dry cast-iron utensil, unlike most other materials, can take high temperatures over a sustained period of time without being adversely affected, although you may have to do a reseasoning afterwards

Once you get a rhythm going, you can roll out a tortilla, put it on to cook and, while it cooks, roll out your next tortilla. Seems like an arduous process but, with this method, I could produce 8 tortillas in about 10 action-packed minutes. Be sure to rewrap your fresh tortillas each time you add another to the stack.

If you like, you can substitute one cup of whole wheat flour for one cup of the all-purpose flour.

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Baking bread, etc.

Can you guess who Natalie and Noelle want to be
when they grow up?


About this picture...Noelle is sitting in a doll stroller that is only rated for about two pounds. If they keep this up, you can guess how long this Christmas present is going to last... Natalie is proudly displaying a naked Barbie that, in addition to the indecent exposure, also has a speaker and a button the babies can push to repeatedly play the most annoying two songs ever. She is sporting a pair of Cinderella plastic slippers that Theresa received for a birthday present last year. Unbelievably, we can still find all six pairs of the shoes that came in the set, and the twins (Natalie in particular) are now old enough to be interested in wearing them too. It's so precious to see her tromping around with such care and self-importance!
(Answer: Bob & Larry)

Chronicle of our first home-baked bread venture,
courtesy of Chickens In The Road -
complete with instructions for first-time bread bakers like me

The bread wasn't the tastiest I've ever tried, but that may have something to do with the fact that it was grossly over-kneaded, if you can imagine that... I'm just so thrilled that it actually rose. Our last house was drafty and we kept the thermostat down, so I could never get bread to rise. Now I can put it on top of the furnace, which is always toasty. It was like a small dream come true for me.
I can't wait until the next try! Thank you, Suzanne McMinn!!

Brian's football banquet

Breathtaking: I'm a no-nonsense kind of girl, and my wardrobe/makeup/jewelry/hair choices reflect that. Lately I've made an effort to put on a little makeup during the day to fight the winter blahs. And today I put my hair in a french braid for the first time in years. Nobody noticed. Except when I was putting the twins to bed...Natalie (2) touched the braid when she threw her arms around my neck, and spun my head around. Then she exclaimed, "Mama....hair....nice."

Later, as they tossed and turned, giggled and sang, cried and tried to escape the bed, I heard Noelle give Natalie a hearty thump with her arm and say "best friend!"

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