I wanna go on THAT ride!

The ride pictured above is called the Italian Swings, and this particular one is located at Knoebel's Grove, Elysburg, PA. Read more about the park below.

The Italian Swings are pretty darn cool, in my estimation. You start out going around in circles a few feet off the ground. Then you pick up speed, the whole roof telescopes upward (taking you with it), and then the roof tilts. You, in your swing, soar skyward on one side, then you plunge back down in almost a free-fall until you bottom out and start upward again. It's really thrilling. It's like soaring on the biggest swingset EVER, and when you drop down, you get that giddy feeling like your stomach is dropping out of your body.

Added bonus if you're a boy: the swing is decorated with vintage Italian art. Classical Italian Artwork. Which means topless Italian women. Very tastefully done, of course, but naked boobs all the same.

Like it. Love it. Couldn't wait to take my kids on it. When one of my sons was big enough (and brave enough), probably about age 4 or 5, we went on side-by-side. He loved it! I could hear him screaming and laughing with delight. And at one point, he called out, "I like this ride, Mom! It tickles my PEEEEEEEEEE-NIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!"

I've never heard a better endorsement in my life.

This is one of my favorite. memories. Ever.


Okay, on to Knoebel's.

They call themselves "America's Largest Free Admission Amusement Park." It may be true, I don't know; I haven't been to all of America's Free Admission Amusement Parks yet to see for myself.

This park is within driving distance of my hometown, and I've been going there regularly for as long as I can remember. I mean, seriously, as in pre-potty training memories. You can pay for a full-access handstamp, or go a-la-carte and purchase a book of ride tickets to spend as you please. It's very shady and cool (blistering summer days excluded), and the best thing (where should I start?) is you can come and go as you please, exit the park and re-enter at will, bring your own food and water bottles in and picnic in the park, bring your dogs, etc.

In my opinion, it used to be better before people outside the area got wind of it. Back then, you could let the kids scamper ahead of you, there were no "one-hour-from this point" line waiting signs, the attendants would let you stay on the rides longer if it wasn't busy.

Thanks to all the out-of-towners, those days are gone now, but for those other reasons it's still better than Dorney, HersheyPark, Six Flags, etc. You can even bring a camper, tent, or rent a cabin. Seriously folks, check it out. Of course, if you do, then I'll be complaining about YOU when you show up and make the place more crowded. Nowadays, the only times I'll go are before the school year lets out, after the school years starts again, and evenings when it might rain, because everybody leaves early on days like that and we once again have the place to ourselves.

Ever since our own kids were capable of sitting up and not trying to climb off the rides, we've been taking them, too. They start out on the Spanish Bambini, the boats, the Fire Trucks. Then they progress to the Kiddie Whip, Moon Walk, Turnpike. It's always a huge milestone when they're old enough to power their own Hand Car, drive their own Antique Car or go on the Bumper Cars by themselves.

Definitely click on the collage. Definitely. It's too small to see as is.

Another face of a stomach virus

Does it get any funnier than this?

What do you see when you look at this picture? Parking lot? Threatening sky? American flags? Roadside tent? Nope. Give up? Let me tell you what my twins see when they look at this picture...


Today in our travels we passed a fireworks tent. Here in Pennsylvania, most types of fireworks are illegal, so each June, yellow-and-white-striped tents pop up all over the landscape, hawking "PA LEGAL FIREWORKS!!!" "BUY-1-GET-1-FREE" and "$25 FREE WITH $100 PURCHASE!"

These tents are usually festooned with American flags and gaily-flapping pennants, so even if I manage to get past without all the kids who can read howling for me to stop, the pre-readers also get whipped into a frenzy.

I avoid these tents like the plague.

Today, however, we were compelled to drive past one. Of course the 10yo started begging, "Please, Mom? Please can we stop?? Please can you spend the last of the month's grocery money on incendiary devices that go up in smoke in a matter of seconds???"

My usual response is, "Sure, we can stop. You brought your wallet, right?" (crestfallen silence from the backseat).


But today it was Noelle. She's two-and-a-half, as she'll proudly tell you herself. And from her booster seat vantage point, she started pointing and shrieking.

"Wook! Wook! See it? See it? Wook, Mommy!"

Gritting my teeth, I say, "Yes, I see all the flags."

"No, Mommy! No! Wook at the toy-wet house! Bwoo toy-wet house!!!" She's about hysterical with delight now.

So I turn my head, and there, just behind the fireworks tent is a blue port-a-potty.



At our church picnic last week, both twins became obsessed with the little blue houses. At first they thought it was a playhouse or another kiddie game, until I had to physically show them there was a toilet inside just so they would believe me. I have seen moms do lots of strange things, but I can't remember doing anything stranger than being dragged by the twins ("Wanna see in the toy-wet house!) over to each little blue house we passed, just to open the door for them and say "See? Another toilet," after which they would dissolve into giggles and cheers.

Then Noelle, who is still resolutely in diapers, declares, "Have to stop, Mommy. Have to go potty. Have to go potty in the toy-wet house!" (I swear this is word-for-word what she said to me.)

I've tried lots of tricks to encourage the kids to toilet-train, but sorry, seeking out job-johnnys for each tinkle is out of the question.



Some families go on national monument sight-seeing vacations. Us, we drive around and rubberneck at porta-johns.

Lovin' This Summer Weather!

We had gorgeous weather today - 85 degrees, sunny and breezy. Oh yeah baby!




This is Clare and Theresa being cool, and Noelle and Natalie doing their best to imitate.



As hard as they tried, they just couldn't figure out that "peace out" thing...

And Now For Something Completely Different...

Okay, it's official. The twins have moved on.

First it was the BabyFaith videos. They watched them incessantly.

Next it was VeggieTales. At first it was "Where's God When I'm Scared." "Care You! Care You! (scare you)" they would demand excitedly, although they didn't limit themselves to only that one. They preferred episodes that featured Bob prominently, and disliked LarryBoy at first, although they soon began to ask for LarryBoy and the Bad Apple by name.

Not long after, they began to obsess over VeggieTales' Jonah. They could watch the entire full-length feature 6 times a day, and coveted a small plastic Jonah figure so strenuously that I bought an entire extra Jonah playset on ebay just to get another Jonah for the loser less fortunate twin.

But now, VeggieTales has lost its luster. In favor, of all things, of Blue's Clues.

Since we don't have cable or satellite TV, my mother tapes VHS copies of Blue's Clues for the kids, interspersed with Toot n' Puddles, Curious George, and WordWorld. But Blue is the winner, hands down. We prefer Steve to Joe, but that's another can of worms entirely...

Tonight, the only way I could peacefully entice them into their room for bedtime was to sing every Blue's Clues ditty I could dredge up. The twins were both tickled that I actually knew the words, but "Mail Time" elicited the most giggles (it always has been my favorite). What you are about to see is probably the twentieth singing of said song, but I finally remembered to run and get the camera:


{p.s. - it's just perfect that she's also wearing a Blue's Clues nightshirt...}

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