A Parent's Prayer

Dear God, I was so cross to the children today! Forgive me. I was discouraged and tired - and I took it out on them. Forgive my bad temper, my impatience and, most of all, my yelling. I am so ashamed as I think of it.

Oh God, the pathetic helplessness of children! Their innocence before the awful monster - the enraged adult.

Hours later, I can still see the fear in their eyes as they scurried around, trying to appease me - thinking my anger and maniacal raving was somehow their fault.

And how forgiving they are, hugging me so fervently at bedtime, kissing me good night.

I want to kneel down by each of their beds, wake them up and ask them to forgive me. But I can't. They wouldn't understand. I must go on living with the memory of this awful day, my unjust tirades.

All I can do is straighten a cover, touch a small head burrowed in a pillow and hope with all my heart that they will forgive me.

Lord, in failing these little ones whom you have put in my keeping, I am failing you. Please let your infinite patience and goodness replenish me for tomorrow.


Author unknown

I came across this prayer back when I was the stainless mother to only one or two perfect children. The first time I had to pray it, I wept and wept. In fact, every occasion for which I have to trot out this little gem, I weep. I never thought I would be a mother who had to say these words and I hate myself for it.


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Non-Secular Sunday

Four Sundays ago I had the rare opportunity to attend Mass by myself. Being that I had absolutely nobody to distract me, you'd think that I could remember a SINGLE THING that was said. But noooo....I have no recollection of the readings or the gospel or the homily. Something must have stuck with me, though, because as I drove the 1.8 miles back home, I was ruminating that other than attending Mass, we don't do anything to make the Lord's Day any different than any other day.

1.8 miles, people. That takes, like, 5 minutes. And in that 5 minutes, Non-Secular Sunday was born. I burst through the door and announced grandly, "Okay, kids, today we are observing a Non-Secular Sunday!" (picture, if you will, an arm-sweeping proclamation)

Blank stares. Quizzical looks. Total incomprehension. Drool.

So then came the impromptu Latin lesson. Secular, from the Latin root word saeculum, meaning "of the age" or "worldly." Non-secular, in this case, meaning Godly, or more faith-filled. Everything we do on Sundays from now on will be aimed at strengthening faith or family.

* No music or television that isn't of a Godly nature.

* Family reading or games, but only if it doesn't lead to fighting.

* An effort to be just a little bit kinder and more forgiving to each other.

* No unnecessary housework. (excluding meal prep and cleanup, unanticipated messes or spills, toilet overflows or twin havoc). This translates to: don't save your laundry, room-cleaning, or vacuuming for Sundays.

* And for Heaven's sake, NO GAME CUBE!!!!!

You can imagine how that first Sunday went. First we watched a new DVD that had been shelf-sitting since August - Junior's Giants #2: Envy Thou Not. We'd never seen this series before and I really enjoyed it; it was edgy and fun but also Scriptural, with a great, anti-possessions moral. We watched it twice in a row. Then we tuned into the movie of the week on JellyTelly. By the way, am I the only parent who likes to watch what the kids watch? I like to know what they're viewing, of course, but I also really enjoy most of it!

After that, my kids couldn't think of a single thing to do that didn't involve playing computer games or watching tv. In fact, all those boxes upon boxes of DVD and VHS in the garage never looked so good. They kept coming up with movies they hadn't seen for awhile, and pining for them. Non-Secular Sunday (NSS for short) looked like it was going to be verrrrrrrry loooooooong.

There was crying.
There was whining.
There was moping.
There was utter, abject boredom.

Thankfully, my husband had off that day to help keep morale up. When the twins were sleeping, we pulled out a Christmas gift we hadn't yet tried. It was called Whoonu? and it was surprisingly fun. I won't describe it fully here, but I will say it was quick - always a bonus. I like games that have a definite end in sight! It's not good for pre-readers unless they can be on someone's team.

We recently started to read the corresponding chapter of Proverbs for each day of the month, and we're working through the gospel of Mark a few paragraphs at a time, which took up a chunk of time. That's always good for some thought-provoking discussion, not to mention a vocabulary lesson. Newsmonger. Effrontery. Propensity. Numbskull. My 10-year-old son was in hysterics because he'd never heard the word 'numbskull' before, and they used it in the Bible !! Proverbs 17:21. (One of my husband's favorite verses!)

But still, the rest of the evening stretched out interminably in front of their eyes.

After a while, the biggest complainers (Brian & Conor) disappeared, and I found them (much) later (after my nap) in the middle of their bedroom floor, surrounded by eight-and-a-half billion legos. They hadn't gotten busy with the legos for quite a while, and I deemed it a fit activity - as long as it didn't end in arguing or pummeling. Oh! Don't let me forget to add that they got away with not cleaning up the legos that night, because it was "Non-Secular Sunday" and they couldn't do any work!!!

I have to tell the truth - not checking my blog was the hardest thing I had to do all that livelong day. Just like the kids, I couldn't get my mind off of it. It was unbelievable how many times I was tempted, and I have to say that I did have a discipline FAIL.

The following Sunday? Worse. They had forgotten all about the first NSS, so it totally blind-sided them again.

There was crying.
There was whining.
There was moping.
There was utter, abject boredom.
Did I mention there was crying?

Sheesh, my kids are spoiled. If you can't plug it in or charge it up, they don't know what to do with themselves.

I made a point of reminding them tonight that tomorrow is another NSS.

We did a little extra downstairs cleaning (thanks, Conor) so that it would be more pleasant to relax and recreate together.

Tomorrow is the 3rd NSS but the first that Daddy won't be around to save the day. And I will have to resist temptation all on my own, so excuse me while I get the rest of my blogging done before the clock strikes twelve.

See you on Not Me Monday!


(and I have to add: everything in this post happened exactly as stated. Except for the drool.)

897

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.


Okay, this one isn't painful to remember at all. And it didn't take place in a dentist's office.

While finishing up our appointments, we didn't have the unlucky timing to pass through the waiting room where a young woman was sitting. This young woman definitely did not have the misfortune to sport a dark mustache and a five o'clock shadow. This young woman wasn't clearly uncomfortable at all in the crowded waiting room. And I didn't have my back turned on the kids while I paid the bill and they put on their coats.

So I really wasn't aware that my 3yo (gregarious, outspoken, no understanding of social cues) didn't approach this poor young woman and ask loudly, "Are you a man or a lady?" When the young woman tried to ignore the question, the child persisted, "But you have a BEARD?! The young woman didn't slink down into her seat and deny tersely, "I don't."

Before I could stop her, my 3yo didn't continue, "Yes, you doooooooooo!!!" and point directly at the poor lady's face. "NO, I DON'T," she denied, emphatically and uncomfortably.

At that point, the receptionist didn't notice what was going on, and didn't hustle the poor soul back to a private waiting room. And I definitely didn't die of shame, right then and there.

And that child, years later, still lacks a well-formed concept of social cues or appropriate topics of conversation. We don't refer to her candor around here as "diarrhea of the mouth."

This story isn't legendary in our house, either.



Breathtaking:

Natalie: Uh-oh! Water pilled! (after knocking over her cup)
Mom: Get a towel and clean it up.
Natalie: O-K. (chanting) Keen it up. Keen it up. (while wiping floor)
Mom: Good girl. I love you!
Natalie: Yuv you too.
Mom: I love you too!
Natalie: I yuv you too!
Mom: You're awesome!
Natalie: You awe-tum too!


794

Random Picture Challenge

Taking part in the Random Picture Challenge over at 4 Little Men & Girly Twins. Go check it out!



Some of my kids and friends playing in the rain during a torrential vertical summer downpour, August 2006.


775

Kids. Ruin. Everything.

(Warning: Lengthy Rant Below)

At low times, my motto around here is “Kids…..ruin…..EVERYTHING!!!!!” usually spoken through clenched teeth with a scowl. It’s sad that I feel that way, but I do.

I remember once while pregnant with the twins…in an absent-minded moment, I let Theresa hold my watch for about 2 minutes, and during that time it completely vanished. I was too big and lumbering to bend down or move the couch, and so it was lost for a couple weeks. (My husband eventually pulled out the couch and found it in about two seconds). She was only 3, and I was so angry with her and myself and everything, and I really let her have it. I made her (and myself) feel pretty awful.

(Theresa, me, my twin belly at about 5 months,
and the watch in question. We are sitting in the same spot
where she lost the watch a mere two months later.
My head is cut off because one of the kids took this photo)

But it was the first watch I had ever owned as an adult and I’d worn it for two straight years without losing it, a first for me. God was testing me then, and I failed. Then my wrists swelled up and I couldn’t wear it anyway, and the battery died shortly thereafter. It still lies dormant on my dresser. That'll teach me.

My point is that I was (and still am) so tired of EVERYTHING in this house getting broken, lost or ruined. The twins are the worst yet right now. They walk off with anything they can snag. They like nothing better than to clean all the dvds or homeschool books off their respective shelves. You can’t let them anywhere near a box of tissues. They ransack any unsuspecting schoolbook that they find.They dump out at least one box of cereal a week. And DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ABOUT THE EGGS.

Why, you may ask, are they allowed to get near the cereal/eggs/tissues/etc.? Well, for starters, they work together. I have numerous other critters in this house who leave doors open, gates open, cereal boxes out, etc. I'm usually busy or distracted. And the twins are a lot faster than I am!


A few months ago in desperation I decided to confine them to one room, because I figured that one room of chaos was better than four rooms of chaos. Anyway, the twins either find ways to sneak through the gate, (Noelle is the master escape artist)
or else we leave it open (in an insane moment), or we have pity on them for being locked away like animals. We can't stand to see them like this:
One day in February (the same day we all came down with the flu) was a day we planned a field trip to a Reptile zoo up near Williamsport. Our trip was delayed by at least an hour because one of Noelle’s booties (brand new, expensive, Robeez) went missing, right from plain sight. I ranted and fumed and cleaned like a madwoman and generally made everyone miserable (even Andy) because “Kids…..ruin…..EVERYTHING!!!!!”

And then Natalie pooped. And when I went to change her, I found that Noelle’s other bootie had somehow gotten stuck down Natalie’s pants. NO WONDER we couldn’t find it !?!?! And to top it off, guess who was the one who dressed Natalie? You got that in one, it was me. All my fault. No wonder God struck me down with the flu. If i was Him, I would have given me the plague. Someday I will learn.

A few days ago, I slipped away to the bathroom. The twins were at the front door, occupied with playing peek-a-boo through the glass with their older sisters Clare & Theresa. I swear I was only gone for 2 minutes. That's 120 seconds. But by the time I returned, the twins were standing on the kitchen table banging on the laptop. They had somehow hit the right (or wrong) combination of keys, and managed to lock and password-protect the keyboard. I set the password about three years ago and had ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what it could be. So the laptop was rendered completely useless. Thank the Lord that our mailman came by a few minutes later, and was able to calmly explain how to fix it to exasperated old me .

I have to keep repeating over and over: “My children are a gift from God and I love them.” LOL

PS - This post was originally made in June. I still privately think that kids ruin everything. The last major doozy was in August. I stepped away from the computer to use the bathroom, and the twins pried 7 keys off the laptop. Laptop keys have three insanely tiny and fragile parts required to reattach them to the keyboard. I spent two hours hunched over the table. I kept telling myself that if Malaysian children can do this, then so can I, failing eyesight, clumsy fingers and all.



We are still missing 4 keys, and the 'e' key will never be the same. It's like a loose tooth - gonna lose it any day now. The Big Mean Daddy won't replace it, and tells me it's my fault because I let the kids use the laptop to play, so they treat it like a toy.