I've been composing this in my head for three weeks. It's a daunting task because I want to recount how we got to this point, but there are so many strands I couldn't figure out where to start.
I guess I could make a long story short(er) by saying that I started homeschooling the kids 26 years and 10 months ago, and I'm TIRED. But it is more than that.
Even though Philip is the youngest of ten, at this point he is basically an only child. The twins are turning 19 and Gean has been living with Sarah and attending public school since summer 2024 - that's another long story. And Philip doesn't really have many friends in the neighborhood. His best buddy lives 25 minutes away. He's been pretty lonely the past year or two.
He started attending a weekly Catholic homeschool co-op in August. He made friends and had his first taste of a classroom setting. Co-op day quickly became his favorite day of the week. That experience, along with Gean's positive reports about public school, gave him the courage to make the leap.
At the same time, I'd been meeting with more and more resistance from him over his schoolwork. This started last year in 5th grade, but this year his loneliness and boredom, alongside my fatigue and health issues, were causing us to have an inordinate amount of "bad" school days. It came to a head when we got back from our beach week at the beginning of October. Neither of us could work up any enthusiasm for schoolwork, and it got to the point where I felt I was doing his education a disservice. I told him plainly that he either had to do schoolwork HERE or somewhere else, and he said he was ready to try.
That was on Tuesday, October 14. The next day was co-op day, so while he was gone, I arranged for a tour of the public school. At this point I hadn't even considered Catholic school, because we felt it was financially out of reach.
9:00 a.m. Thursday morning the two of us were walking the halls of the public elementary school. The tour was very bland and it wasn't giving me a favorable impression. I kept trying to picture him there, but the image brought me to tears. There were SEVEN 6th grade classes, but we scarcely saw or heard any kids. Afterward it occurred to me that it felt more like an institution or prison than a school. I left there with a very heavy heart.
On the way home, on a whim, I gave the Catholic school a call to ask if we could take a tour. To my surprise they told me to come that same day at 1:00. Philip and I went home for lunch, then out again for tour #2.
The difference was starkly obvious: This place was not cold and institutional. It was full of noise and life. I immediately felt welcome and comfortable. The tour guide was not only the Admissions Director, but also a former classmate. At the end of the tour, the principal invited Philip to spend the following day shadowing with the sixth graders.
I guess I should say here that the Admissions Director assured us that financial assistance was available. After discussing it with Andy, who was never really on board with the notion of public school, we decided to take a leap of faith and send him to Catholic school, even if it meant one of us taking on a part-time job.
The following morning, October 17th, I presented Philip to the sixth grade teacher, then went to the office to fill out some forms. At this point I could barely hold myself together because I was so heartbroken about quitting homeschooling. I could barely hold back the tears all that week, and I was deeply worried that Philip would not adjust well. He had terrible problems with anxiety in 2023-24, another long story.
Turns out I needn't have worried. At the end of the day there were kids passing in the halls, patting him on the shoulder, saying, "Bye Philip! Hope you come to school here!" And Philip, who had it in his mind that public school was cool and Catholic school was lame, had a complete change of heart.
I spent that weekend procuring uniform shirts and pants (and crying) and completing the online financial aid application. And first thing Monday morning, October 20, he began his school career.
It was a soft landing from the beginning. I was afraid that he would struggle to catch up, 7 weeks into the semester, but he did fine. He had to learn how to take notes in a hurry, but otherwise it was pretty seamless. Academically he was on track, and he made friends without a problem.
By the end of the second week we still had not received a decision about our financial liability, made a payment, or received an invoice. It was on Monday of the third week that Andy received a call from the Director of Development informing him that Philip was the recipient of the John & Adele Sc______ Memorial Scholarship, covering 100% of our financial portion. It was so unexpected. I still get chills thinking about it.
Without giving away too many details, what happened is that the news that Philip was going to attend Catholic school made its way through the family grapevine, and unbeknownst to us, a family member who is also a graduate of and donor to the school set up a scholarship fund and designated Philip as the recipient.
Happily, my tears dried up by the end of the second week. Not only that, but the same child who would slump dejectedly into a heap at the mere mention of homeschooling was now asking for my help with homework and proudly showing me his daily achievements. I wasn't irrelevant and obsolete, as I'd feared. It really soothed my broken heart. My constant weight of guilt about being a failure at homeschooling is gone. The boy who hated math and said he sucked at spelling now says math is his favorite subject and rattles off spelling and vocabulary words with confidence, and even his penmanship has improved greatly. Dad takes him to school every morning and if it's nice weather, he walks home. Otherwise I am waiting to pick him up. Best of all, he's one of the guys and has a group of friends.
At first I threw myself into cataloguing and selling off my homeschool library to put away some Christmas money. Now that the holidays are upon us, I think sales will slow down, so I'll keep everything boxed up until the end of the school year and do one more round of sales, then donate the rest. I'm up consistently early for the first time since I was in high school. I'm trying to keep the house a little nicer and stay ahead of the chores. And I finally have time to join the crochet or pinochle clubs at the library. I also started to go to water aerobics a few times a week at the community center. I'm sure there will be more as time goes by, but for now this is where we are, and it's a pretty good place to be.
And we owe everything to those special someones. You know who you are!
