Rant

Okay, I know it's been over three years. I know I should just let it go already. But every time I shave my legs, I can't help thinking about this one lady and this snotty thing she said to me.

Let me set the scene for you: It is late December, the time when most real women I know shave their legs only when necessary, and until the arrival of spring, the leg hair is usually well hidden under fuzzy socks and long pants.

NOW, imagine me eight-and-a-half months pregnant. THEN, realize that I'm eight-and-a-half months pregnant with TWINS. This brings the question of leg hair into perfect focus. I can barely reach my knees. Indigestion is ever-present. Breathing is even difficult. On top of all of that, I have bronchitis. Sex life is at a grinding halt. Leg hair is a non-issue.

Two a.m. December 26th, just a few hours after going to bed on Christmas night, my water breaks during a coughing fit. The hospital says to be there at seven a.m. to prep for a nine o'clock cesearean. I decide to take a shower while waiting for dawn, and in a heroic effort, I even decide to shave my legs, since so many people are going to be seeing them in just a few short hours.

It's the first surgery of my life, I'm preparing to welcome twins into the world and praying that everything goes smoothly. I am understandably anxious as I climb up onto the operating table. In fact, I am nearly numb with fear and anxiety and disbelief that this is really happening to me. But I am bravely trying to joke and make nervous small talk with the nurses. Since it's such a momentous occasion, I say, I even shaved my legs! And the snotty little size ten in the designer scrubs points to the outside of my right knee and, with a smirk, says, "You missed a spot."

I was too nervous and afraid at the time to be able to react with the proper indignation. I mean, seriously? How shallow can someone be? What was the purpose of such a snide remark at such a sensitive moment? I don't think I said anything at the time, but I feel certain God wouldn't have been minded if I had kicked her right in the chest.

Rant over. I feel a little better now.