So I read a post by KathyB over at The World According to Me about an embarrassing incident involving a toddler and 4 police officers, and I'm thinking, "Why doesn't stuff like that ever happen to me?"
Then out of the vaults of my swiss-cheesy memory I pulled out this little gem. Please note that I am not holding up my incident for comparison with Kathy's. Hers wins, hands down, for rueful head-shaking and overall forehead-smackiness.
There was the time when I was trying to call the kids' doctor on speed dial, but I hit the 911 button by mistake. I hung up right away, but the call had already connected. When the dispatcher called me back, I, naturally, was already on the phone with the doctor. The 911 center's protocol is to dispatch a unit if no one answers. I, naturally, was oblivious of this pertinent piece of information.
Child #1 was at school, I had just nursed Baby #3 to sleep but he wasn't ready to "let go" when I heard the doorbell ring. I was still in my nightgown with sleeping Child #2 on one side and a boob hanging out on the other. Naturally, I ignored the bell. What would you do? Then I heard the door open, and two officers entered the house called "Ma'am? Ma'am?"
So there I am on the baby monitor trying to tell them to be quiet. Me, in hushed tones: "I'm O-kay. I'm O-kay. Please don't yell up the steps. The kids are sleeping." (Do you know how long it took to nurse that kid to sleep???) And they're calling back, "I'm sorry, Ma'am, but we need to SEE you."
The long and short was that those two kind civil servants got a good look at unkempt motherhood at its grittiest. I am also fairly sure that the downstairs was something of a disaster (I wasn't much of a housekeeper in those days). And naturally, in the process, both sleeping kids woke up and I had to start all over again.
Actually, I was very proud of them. The police, that is. They adhered to procedure to make sure it wasn't a hostage situation. But it was also slightly mortifying. But hey - I'm Catholic. Isn't mortification good for the soul?