Kids. Ruin. Everything.

(Warning: Lengthy Rant Below)

At low times, my motto around here is “Kids…..ruin…..EVERYTHING!!!!!” usually spoken through clenched teeth with a scowl. It’s sad that I feel that way, but I do.

I remember once while pregnant with the twins…in an absent-minded moment, I let Theresa hold my watch for about 2 minutes, and during that time it completely vanished. I was too big and lumbering to bend down or move the couch, and so it was lost for a couple weeks. (My husband eventually pulled out the couch and found it in about two seconds). She was only 3, and I was so angry with her and myself and everything, and I really let her have it. I made her (and myself) feel pretty awful.

(Theresa, me, my twin belly at about 5 months,
and the watch in question. We are sitting in the same spot
where she lost the watch a mere two months later.
My head is cut off because one of the kids took this photo)

But it was the first watch I had ever owned as an adult and I’d worn it for two straight years without losing it, a first for me. God was testing me then, and I failed. Then my wrists swelled up and I couldn’t wear it anyway, and the battery died shortly thereafter. It still lies dormant on my dresser. That'll teach me.

My point is that I was (and still am) so tired of EVERYTHING in this house getting broken, lost or ruined. The twins are the worst yet right now. They walk off with anything they can snag. They like nothing better than to clean all the dvds or homeschool books off their respective shelves. You can’t let them anywhere near a box of tissues. They ransack any unsuspecting schoolbook that they find.They dump out at least one box of cereal a week. And DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ABOUT THE EGGS.

Why, you may ask, are they allowed to get near the cereal/eggs/tissues/etc.? Well, for starters, they work together. I have numerous other critters in this house who leave doors open, gates open, cereal boxes out, etc. I'm usually busy or distracted. And the twins are a lot faster than I am!


A few months ago in desperation I decided to confine them to one room, because I figured that one room of chaos was better than four rooms of chaos. Anyway, the twins either find ways to sneak through the gate, (Noelle is the master escape artist)
or else we leave it open (in an insane moment), or we have pity on them for being locked away like animals. We can't stand to see them like this:
One day in February (the same day we all came down with the flu) was a day we planned a field trip to a Reptile zoo up near Williamsport. Our trip was delayed by at least an hour because one of Noelle’s booties (brand new, expensive, Robeez) went missing, right from plain sight. I ranted and fumed and cleaned like a madwoman and generally made everyone miserable (even Andy) because “Kids…..ruin…..EVERYTHING!!!!!”

And then Natalie pooped. And when I went to change her, I found that Noelle’s other bootie had somehow gotten stuck down Natalie’s pants. NO WONDER we couldn’t find it !?!?! And to top it off, guess who was the one who dressed Natalie? You got that in one, it was me. All my fault. No wonder God struck me down with the flu. If i was Him, I would have given me the plague. Someday I will learn.

A few days ago, I slipped away to the bathroom. The twins were at the front door, occupied with playing peek-a-boo through the glass with their older sisters Clare & Theresa. I swear I was only gone for 2 minutes. That's 120 seconds. But by the time I returned, the twins were standing on the kitchen table banging on the laptop. They had somehow hit the right (or wrong) combination of keys, and managed to lock and password-protect the keyboard. I set the password about three years ago and had ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what it could be. So the laptop was rendered completely useless. Thank the Lord that our mailman came by a few minutes later, and was able to calmly explain how to fix it to exasperated old me .

I have to keep repeating over and over: “My children are a gift from God and I love them.” LOL

PS - This post was originally made in June. I still privately think that kids ruin everything. The last major doozy was in August. I stepped away from the computer to use the bathroom, and the twins pried 7 keys off the laptop. Laptop keys have three insanely tiny and fragile parts required to reattach them to the keyboard. I spent two hours hunched over the table. I kept telling myself that if Malaysian children can do this, then so can I, failing eyesight, clumsy fingers and all.



We are still missing 4 keys, and the 'e' key will never be the same. It's like a loose tooth - gonna lose it any day now. The Big Mean Daddy won't replace it, and tells me it's my fault because I let the kids use the laptop to play, so they treat it like a toy.